Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
