if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
