the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
