i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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