She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
