I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
