i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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