Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
