Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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