Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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