So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
