He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
