he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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