I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
