I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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