oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
