I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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