Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
