i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
