That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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