We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
