Are we in a gay sports bar?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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