okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
