I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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