If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Randomize
