I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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