The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
