you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
