I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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