I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
