well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
