your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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