Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize