Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
