Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
