hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
