Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
