Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
