Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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