dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
