i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
