She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
being pregnant is like rehab
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
