It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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