big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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