Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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