party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
