I love black thongs
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
