why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
