I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
