i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
